06 September, 2006

The Tiger Fan Oath

Tiger Oath

Body: I __________ solemnly swear to do the following to ensure that I remain a member of the most passionate, intimidating, and sometimes scary fan base known to man. I agree to DO the following:

1. I will always cheer for LSU in sound levels that would make a banshee proud....and deaf. I will agree to do this whether in Tiger Stadium, at an opposing stadium, in front of a TV, at a bar/restaurant, or at a friend's/family member's wedding/funeral with strategically placed ear phones.

2. I will wear purple and gold to games. I will NOT, however, under any circumstances wear purple and gold camouflage overalls, pants, or hats.....EVER. (You do indeed still have to wear pants, I'm talking to you, Livingston Parish!)

3. Speaking of not wearing camouflage overalls, don't wear overalls at all. If that's all you own, you might need to examine the fact that you might be a Mississippi St. fan or a member of Dexy's Midnight Runners.

4. I will continue to tailgate in a way that is representative of my school's perennial National Champions of Tailgating title. This means good food, good music, lots of alcohol, and great people.

5. When tailgating, I will not devote more time to the centerpiece than I do for preparing food. If this is the case, I might as well become an Ole Miss fan. They are big believers of style without substance.

6.. I will invite visiting fans to our tailgate spot and give them a hard time before taking them in as one of our own, feeding them, and getting them drunk.

7. I will NOT act in a way that promotes the negative stereotype that LSU has bad fans.

8. I will NOT boo our players while at games. I can boo college coaches and NFL players and coaches but NOT college kids. Remember, if they don't receive a paycheck, I can't boo them. I can, however, boo Alabama and Tennessee players because they all get paid.

9. I will not leave a game before the 5 min. mark in the 4th qtr unless LSU is up by 21 or more, and I/someone with me is: vomiting, bleeding, and/or stricken with hysterical blindness. Beating traffic is not a viable excuse until I reach age 80.

10. I will continue to believe that Mike the Tiger's roaring before a game has everything to do with his school spirit and nothing to do with a human in a tiger costume that Mike can't stand. (*ahem* ignore this part... I'm cute and fuzzy)

11. I will stop trying to start a wave. Waves are for soccer or Tulane fans.

12. I will cheer for our team on offense but only when the play is over, the team needs to be able to hear when in the huddle and when lining up for the snap. On defense, I will constantly scream at the top of my lungs, like a nine year old running from Neverland Ranch.

3 comments:

Geauxing Red said...

I had to laugh at the Livingston Parish comment. I live there but I live in Watson, we are the "Upper Class Rednecks" (in other words, we are transplants, we weren't born and bred there).

Love your Tiger Fan Oath!!!

Papa said...

Proud to say I grew up 6 miles north of Watson on HWY 16. 7 generations of family go back.

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